Archive for the ‘ Loose Leaves ’ Category


I’m just sitting here


Like an empty wineglass

Aching for you to pour some good wine in

And drink

To drown yourself in the heady draught

I want to

Feel your lips

As you touch them to the brim

Would you brood over me

So, I too, can

Silently contemplate your face

To watch the shadows of emotion in your eyes

And to know your fingers intimately;

Every callus and groove

Wrapped around

The flute of my heart.

Then you set me down,

Leaving me to lose my chill

As the roll down my sides

In crystal-clear tears

My cold guardedness slipping down

And pooling at my feet.

2 April 2003



If I had no mouth,

I wouldn’t have to answer greedy questions

Or tell lies or regret words I’ve said.

If I had not eyes,

I wouldn’t have to see things I wish I hadn’t seen

Or cry and add salt to wounds.

If I had no ears,

I wouldn’t have to listen to anything that makes me

Feel as if I would tear apart, explode or crumble.

if I had no nose,

I wouldn’t have to smell the sour tangy odour of fear.

And rats. Or fish.

If I had no sense of touch,

I wouldn’t have to feel love and want so much to understand

The beginnings of the tender feelings it brings.

15 February 2003

She Used to Say, ‘Walls have Ears’

These new walls look aged beyond their years

Hairline cracks running like veins across the surface

Of living breathing walls

How they held me when he pushed me

my breath coming out in a rush of stars as I fell –

they let me fall

a thrown chair; a chip in the wall

they must have felt the pain too

for they threw my screams back and forth between them;

they helped my cries fall as they jumped out of the windows

at night they keep my tears contained

they let sounds in but none out when I am

talking or laughing with him

listening, absorbing

giving away no secrets

if walls could talk

canyon-wide, time-deep

a cavernous mouth yawning across the years.

10 april 2003

Gathering the Wind-Scattered Pages of Myself

When you come in

You must not find a

Dejected figure lying curled up

On her bed,

The pillow tight in her arms

You must not discover

pages glittering with moments of unshed tears

and haphazard memories

crumbled into paper balls

meant for the wastepaper basket.

You must not see the hand that held the pen


So ready to sweep the clutter off

Her desk

And that the person behind the picture


Is using every bit of control left

Not to throw open

The windows in her eyes

And jump out

To tumble in the soft grass

beneath her feet.

7th. June 2003

A Gabriel Revelation

Tears bloomed in my eyes Words – astonished – like petals unfolding I felt my resolve crumble I am smouldering in my own dark ashes The fire bitten down to the quick – Cowardly – Allowing darkness to roll in, A mad red carpet.

13th. September 2004


But I feel only myself Standing at the shores of my mind The sound of waves beating dully in my ear. I suffer from you, And I want you to suffer from me too. I hope you’d tell me someday What you were thinking about, Wanted to say, Forgot to tell me. Fall ill with me, Let us never get well from each other.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

Quite quickly we both have settled into a

Comfortable carousel of routines

Days alternating nights

I have grown into you and you have grown into me

My spoken thoughts are ships you harbour

I am the runway which your thoughts take off

Your annoyance becomes as common as a piece

Of clothing you wear

And most of the times I look but don’t see;

I am quite blind to it.

Where have this taken us?

Our love is fading like the memories of childhood

Maybe we are better off as friends

Now we can’t let go of each other

It seems too weird to be without the other

Your kisses melt too quickly

I can’t remember what it is like

Maybe we’ve read each other too quickly

Both of us good books we couldn’t keep our hands off

Too fast, my dear, too fast,

Until the words thread across the sky,

Their black wings beating home,

Out of my line of sight.

18th. July 2004